Generally, as a man, I never had to feel frustrations of double standards per say. I was only pushed to compete with other people, but I guess that is how it works outside. It is the system in place in our African societies, right? We always need to gauge ourselves against someone else to measure our success and progress, I guess. In most African homes, mine included, we men are excessively pressured to succeed and provide for the family. Despite the current changes societies are undergoing, that everyone needs to be independent. That is just how life is for me and other men. But, I think you can say I got used to this pressure. Maybe, maybe not. It might be a double standard, this is my pressure speaking.
However, at the current moment, my biggest fear is not succeeding in becoming what I want to be. It annoys me and scares me because its a genuine necessity for me to succeed. No one wants to stick around a failure. I need to do it for not only myself but everything and everyone that rides on me to make it big. Either for my family now, my future wife and kids and possibly to maintain friendships and status. I don’t like how I pressure myself sometimes. I know I have to cut myself some slack, but it is hard sometimes.
For instance, I sometimes slack, ok way too much. When I reflect on what I have done so far, maybe this month, I realise nothing productive. This scares me because I am way behind on my own goals. I do have some piece of advice doh, despite my current anxious state. It is never too late to start and learn something new. Grab a physics or chemistry book, learn about atoms or the equation of power in terms of voltage and current. Yes, I am a science fan, and no, you may not subject your flawed assumptions on me, that its because I am a boy. The point I am trying to drive here is, begin and learn. Whether its baking, reading, dancing or even a business. Just do it.
“The crazy truth is, we all know we sometimes put too much pressure on ourselves as we pursue success. Let us stop and remember we are different individuals, and our life paths are totally different. We can draw life lessons from others, but we cannot be them or compete with them. Your competition is you and no one else.”
We can learn a thing or two from Mattew McConaughey Oscars speech.
Photo by Clark Tibbs on Unsplash
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