Among my friends, I always believed I was the voice of reason and called out what was wrong. A spade was a spade with me, it can never be a car. Of course, like all normal girls, we get to a stage in life where we develop crushes. Since I didn’t have any and my friends were head over heels over guys, I assumed I was matured, and they were childish.
All the time I would tell them to stop clowning and to know their worth they cannot be losing common sense over guys. I was always the judge, therefore played the judgmental role or knocking sense into their heads, until it happened to me. Man, wasn’t I crazy in love and on cloud 9? I developed a massive crush on this guy which lasted for an entire month. I was out here doing the things I told my friends not to do because I had valid reasons for crushing on him. Didn’t I do everything in my power to capture his attention? From, posting stuff I thought he would react to because I understood him really well. To swooning over little and all things he did. Then, dressing up to look pretty and look beautiful, so that when I cross near him, I will capture his attention. Or, acting in a particular manner around him, so it appears like I share some of his views. The scariest one was being anxious to text him, but chicken out and not do it at all. It’s cool. I was going to observe him from afar.
However, I wasn’t true to myself. Looking back at it now, it makes me laugh of what a spectacle I had made of myself. I also do acknowledge the fact I shouldn’t have judged my friends like that because I didn’t know what they were going through. Never judge people if you have not been in their position. I stopped saying stuff like, “Get a grip on yourself, your life isn’t centered around this man.” Instead, I became aware of some of the things people are going through that I don’t know about. It is not even in the aspect of crushes or relationships, but in everything in life. That one small ordeal changed my perceptive. Now I give constructive criticism and not just criticise without understanding.
Ladies never change your whole-being for a man, he will love you the way you are, and if he doesn’t that man isn’t yours
Photo by Bill Oxford on Unsplash
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